Happy New Year Everyone!

I'd like to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year! Thank you for visiting the site and I hope you all enjoy the festive season.

Posted by: emzee

Cold Winter

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.

He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold" the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.

"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

PANO NGA BA NAGSISIMULA ANG CRUSH?

STAGE 1: :"ALIW AKO!"

it goes like this... lalapit ka sa friend mo..tapos you'll say, "ei! kilala mo ba si ______(ALEXI, chris, mark, joseph, john, mike...or whatever his damn name is!)? wala lang...aliw lang talaga ako sa kanya..." sabay smile... "hindi ko sya crush ha!!! talagang nakakatuwa lang sya!" kaya nga eh...tuwang tuwa ka...it shows...naaliw ka nga talaga...grabe!!!di mo ba alam na dyan nagsisimula yan...

STAGE 2: "NAKAKA-MISS SYA"

ayan na po...hinahanap mo na...ung dialouge naman nyan ganito..."uy, nasan kaya si ______? matagal ko na syang di nakikita eh...wala lang naninibago lang ako..." sigurado ka bang yun lang...aba! bago mo naman sya nakilala eh okay lang sayo na he does not exsist..eh bakit ngayon hinahanap-hanap o...cgurado ka bang NANINIBAGO KA LANG????

STAGE 3: "CUTE PALA SYA!" a.k.a "the denial of reality"

hay...ayaw pa kasing aminin eh...paka totoo kana noh!!! "ei, alam mo cute pala si ______! pag tiningnan mong mabuti..." o kaya..."ang cute naman nyang magsmile...tapos ang bouncy ng hair nya..." tpos biglang sasabihin... "hindi ko sya crush ha...ung hair (smile or whatever na bagay na related sa kanya) lng nya ang gusto ko!" SIGURADO KA LANG??? eh bakit sa tinagal-tagal na magkasama kayo ngayon mo lang narealize...hm...something's fishy...

STAGE 4: "ALAM MO CRUSH KO NA YATA SYA..."

Hay naku!!! may pa yata-yata ka pang nalalaman... ilang months or years mo inipon ang courage mo para aminin yan...when infact it's so obvious...alam na ng buo mong barkada bago mo pa man sinabi....at least di ba "HONEST" kana sa sarili mo...

STAGE 5: "TODO NA TO!"

eto na siguro yung part na pinaka maraming complications...kasi alam na ng barkada mo...at ikaw...kilig effect ka sa isang tabi....eto na yung stage na may sub levels...ayon sa iyong mga kabaliwang gagawin just for the sake of your so-called love life...

a. shy effect

okay...nandyan ka lang sa isang tabi...nagmumuni-muni kahit within 1 meter radius lang ang crush mo...kunwari walang reaction...tanong lang ha? HANGGANG KAILAN???

b. kababawan

ung bang tipong nadikitan mo lang sya by a quarter of a second sa hibla ng damit nya eh hanggang langit na yung tuwa mo..ung bang pwede ka nang mamatay...hay grabe ha...o kya naman makasalubong mo lang sya eh papasa kana sa exams....hm...wag sobrahan!!!

c. non stop talk

well...it just means na wala ka nang ibang kinuwento kundi sya..."he's like this...blah blah blah." its all about him...

d. stalker

in short...you're a walking encyclopedia about him...alam mo lahat ng dapat malaman tungkol sa kanya...schedule nya, adress, phone numbers...san sya tumaTambay...lahat ng favorites nya...pangalan ng parents nya...size ng pants, shoes, shirts nya...pati yata brand ng brief nya alam mo na...tsk!tsk!tsk! freaky...

e. obssesesion

hm, kailangan pa bang i-explain yan????

STAGE 6: GETTING TO KNOW YOU...

Sa wakas...kilala ka na rin ng crush mo...eh di happy kana di ba....it's your time to shine at magpakitang gilas...hehehe! kaso take note this is the most dangerous stage...remember that once you get to know him..there might be a possibility na ma-inlove ka...o complicated na yan!!!! pero pwede rin na crush mo lang talaga sya...there also may be a chance na mawala ung pagaka crush mo sa kanya...or you two might be good friends....friends...as in FRIENDS!!! daming possibilities...it's up to you kung what will you choose...basta make sure it's the best for both of you...

FPJ (Fatal Political Joke, 3)
By Atty. Jay De Castro

Pilit itinutulak ng oposisyon ang pagkandidato ni Fernando Poe Jr. sa darating na 2004 presidential election. Ayon sa kanila , si FPJ ay dapat iboto dahil sa mga sumusunod:

1. Siya ay may plataporma de gobyerno na hango sa Aklat ng Panday. Ito ay mas matanda pa sa Code of Kalantiaw (ang unang batas sa Pilipinas) kaya't dapat paniwalaan ng ating mga mamamayan.

2. Kaya niyang lutasin ang mga krimen sa bansa sapagkat isang bala lang sa kanya ang mga kriminal.

3. Hindi uubra sa kanya ang mga Abu Sayyaf, MNLF at NPA sapagkat ang kanyang paiiralin ay ang Batas ng 45.

4. Siya ay isang Dalubhasa, kung kaya't kaya niyang buwagin ang lahat ng sindikato sa Pilipinas.

5. Hindi siya maaaring lokohin ng kanyang mga tauhan, sapagkat tulad ng salop ay napupuno siya at tatamaan ang hindi susunod sa kanya.

6. Iboboto siya ng mga Muslim sapagkat siya si Muslim .357 na kalaban ng mga masasamang loob.

7. Sigurado ang kanyang panalo sa Maynila, sapagkat kanya ang Tondo, kung saan kanyang itinayo ang Low Waist Gang.

8. May programa siya sa sports, sapagkat siya ang Pakner ni Efren "Bata" Reyes, ang hari ng billiards sa Pilipinas.

9. Bilang Totoy Bato ang matuturuan niya ng boksing ang ating mga kababayan.

10. Kapag siya ang naging pangulo ang labing limang piso ay makakabili na ng Pitong Gatang ng bigas at hindi isang kilo, tulad ng kasalukuyang kalakalan.

11. Malulutas niya ang kahirapan ng bansa, sapagkat siya ang nakakaalam ng Lihim ng Guadalupe na magdudulot ng yaman sa ating mamamayan.

12. Kung magkakaroon ng digmaan sa pagitan ng Tsina at Pilipinas dahil sa Spratlys ay magaling niyang mapamumunuan ang ating sandatahan dahil sa dami ng kanyang karanasan sa pakikipaglaban sa mga Hapon sa kanyang mga pelikula.

13. Kung may bulkang sasabog tulad ng Mt. Pinatubo, maiiwasan niya ang malalaking sakuna bunga ng kanyang natutunan sa pelikula niyang Anak ng Bulkan.

14. Siya ay isang Agila na simbolo ng pambansang ibon ng Pilipinas.

15. Bunga ng kanyang pagganap sa iba't ibang katauhan sa kanyang napakaraming pelikula ay magiging Perlas ng Silangan ang Pilipinas.
***
Sa kabila ng walang karanasan ni FPJ sa pagpapatakbo ng pamahalaan ay pilit siyang tinutulak ng oposisyon na tumakbo bilang pangulo ng bansa. Para bang ang pagpapatakbo ng gobyerno at pamumuno sa 82 milyong Pilipino ay isang pelikula na kung ang gumaganap ay magkakamali ay maitutuwid ito sa pangalawa o pangatlong "take".

Nakapanglulumong isipin ang ganitong pasiya ng oposisyon, lalu na't ang ilan sa kanila ay mga senador at kongresista. Halatang-halata na hindi kabutihan ng bansa at mga mamamayan ang kanilang pinahahalagahan, kundi sariling kapakanan, ang muli nilang paghawak sa kapangyarihan ng pamahalaan. Gagamitin lang nila si FPJ.

Anong kinabukasan ang maaasahan ng ating kabataan sa ganitong klaseng lider ng ating pamahalaan?

mayonnaise and the beer....

When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar......and the beer.



A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.



So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.



The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."



The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now", said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."



When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the students raised her hand and with a puzzled _expression, inquired what the beer represented. The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

kuya wag po!!!

Phone rings. I pick it up in the living room, and she picks up the extension in the second floor.

I say, "Inday, pakibaba ang telepono. Dito ko na lang kakausapin si Eric".

Sagot siya, "Yes, kuya!"

Minutes later, while I'm still on the phone, may naririnig akong kalabog from the stairs. then I see the maid na pilit hinihila yung extension phone.

"ati,ang hirap pala ibaba ng ixtenshun!"

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we had a maid before, she was asked to cook ampalaya. Binalatan ba naman yung ampalaya!?!!

galit yung daddy ko tuloy. so after realizing her mistake, sinama nya yung pinagbalatan ng ampalaya sa niluluto nya.hehehe

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One day I asked one of our maids to cover my book, I told her...."uy mylene, paki balutan naman tong book ko... here's the wrapper and the plastic cover...."

after an hour....

mylene: "kat eto na o."

*****, tama ba namang gawing regalo na may plastic cover ung book ko?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

yung tita ko at ang maid nila:

tita: paz, may tumawag ba?

paz: oho ate

tita: o, anong sabi?

paz: krrriiingg, kkkrriingg, hello?, sino po ito....ah ok, babay...

grabe, o diba accurate message, pati ring ng phone kuha...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

(holding a pack of lucky me pancit canton)

ate: alam mo ba lutuin to?

day: pano ba yan te?

ate: pakuluan mo yung noodles at pag malambot na alisin mo yung tubig.

pagkatapos ihalo mo lahat ng nasa pakete.

(when she returned itim yung pancit)

ate:bakit ganito?

day: sabi niyo halo ko lahat!

(yung pancit pala may free na nescafe sa labas)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Dami eh, one time may tumawag sa bahay tapos tinanong ni mama kung sino, sabi niya walang sumagot. Okey fine. tinanong ni mama kung ano ang number, look siya sa caller ID, sinabi niya "nanay, 1234 po ang number na tumawag"

Natural, high pitch na si mama, "ano?"

"Sandali po Nanay, titignan ko ulit.

Nay, nagbago na ang number 1236 na po ngayon." Tinignan ng mama kung ano ang tinitignan niya, yun pala, yung oras."

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one time, sinama namin ng husband yung maid namin sa isang jap restaurant, we wanted to try kasi yung dinner buffet nila so get naman ng food yung maid namin sa buffet. i saw her getting several pieces ng california maki. Later nakita ko hinihimay nya yung maki and kinain lang niya yung rice tapos sabi sa kin

"bakit may electric tape 'to?" sabay taas nung seaweed

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Maid is cleaning Bro's room. Bro enters wearing only a towel (kakaligo
lang).

Maid starts to walk out of room.

Bro: Neng, isara mo ang pinto...

Maid turns around with tears in her eyes.

Maid: Kuya, h'wag po!!!

Bro: Gagah! Paglabas mo ng kwarto!!!

Love Island

============

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on our boat?" Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Author Unknown

A different kind of Christmas story
Just have to pass this on to you guys,
Merry Christmas, but lets not forget the true meaning of Christmas.
Imagine this.......

You're driving home from work next Monday after a long day. You tune in your radio. You hear a blurb about a little village in India where some villagers have died suddenly, strangely, of a flu-like virus that has never been seen before. It's not influenza, but three or four people are dead, and it's kind of interesting, and they are sending some doctors over there to investigate it.

You don't think much about it, but coming home from church on Sunday you hear another radio spot. Only they say it's not three villagers, it's 30,000 villagers in the back hills of this particular area of India, and it's on TV that night. CNN runs a little blurb: people are heading there from the disease center in Atlanta because this disease strain has never been seen before.

By Monday morning when you get up, it's the lead story. It's not just India; it's Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, and before you know it, you're hearing this story everywhere, and they have now coined it as "the mystery flu." The President has made some comment that he and his family are praying and hoping that all will go well over there.

But everyone is wondering, "How are we going to contain it?" That's when the President of France makes an announcement that shocks Europe. He is closing their borders. No flights from India, Pakistan, or any of the countries where this thing has been seen.

That's why you are watch a little bit of CNN before going to bed. Your jaw hits your chest when a weeping woman is translated into English from a French news program: There's a man lying in a hospital in Paris, dying of the mystery flu. It has come to Europe.

Panic strikes. As best they can tell, after contracting the disease, you have it for a week before you even know it. Then you have four days of unbelievable symptoms. And then you die. Britain closes its borders, but it's too late. Southampton, Liverpool, London, and it's Tuesday morning when the President of the United States makes the following announcement: "Due to a national-security risk, all flights to and from Europe and Asia have been canceled. If your loved-ones are overseas, I'm sorry. They will not be admitted into this country until we find a cure for this thing."

Within four days, our nation has been plunged into an unbelievable fear.

People are wondering, "What if it comes to this country?" And preachers onTuesday are saying it's the scourge of God. It's Wednesday night, and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot and yells, "Turn on a radio, turn on a radio!" And while everyone in church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made. Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital, dying from the mystery flu. Within hours it seems, the disease envelops the country.

People are working around the clock, trying to find an antidote. Nothing is working. California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts. It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders.

And then all of a sudden the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made. It's going to take the blood of someone with a very rare and blood-type, who hasn't been infected. All through the Midwest, over all channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood analyzed. That's all we ask of you. When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals.

Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your spouse and your kids are out there, and they take your blood and say, "Wait here in the parking lot, and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home." You stand around, scared, with your neighbors, wondering what on earth is going on, and if this is the end of the world.

Suddenly, a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Daddy, that's me." Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. "Wait a minute. Hold on!" And they say, "It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We think he has the right blood type."

Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses crying and hugging one another - some are even laughing. It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you, sir. Your son's blood is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the antidote."

As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying. But then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and your wife aside and says, "May we see you for a moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we... we need you to sign a consent form. "You begin to sign, and then you see that the box for the number of pints of blood to be taken is empty.

"H-h-h-how many pints?" And that is when the old doctor's smile fades, and he says, "We had no idea it would be a little child. We weren't prepared. We need it all!"

"But... but . . . I don't understand. He's my only son!"

"We are talking about the whole world here. Please sign. We...we... need to hurry!"

"But can't you give him a transfusion?"

"If we had clean blood we would. Please, will you please sign?"

In numb silence you do. Then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?"

Could you walk back? Could you walk back to that room where he sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?"

Could you take his hands and say, "Son, your mommy and I love you, and we would never, ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be! Do you understand that?"

And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry. We've got to get started. People all over the world are dying," could you leave? Could you walk out while he is saying, "Dad? Mom? Dad? Why ... why have you abandoned me?"

And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son, and some folks sleep through it, and some folks don't even bother to come because they have better things to do, and some folks come with a pretentious smile and just pretend to care, would you want to jump up and say, "EXCUSE ME! MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU EVEN CARE? DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?"

I wonder, is that what God wants to say? "MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DOES IT MEAN NOTHING? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?"

Father, seeing it from your eyes should break our hearts. Maybe now we can begin to comprehend the great love you have for us.

Pass this story on to your entire address book or just five close friends; either way, by Christmas it will be all over the Internet.

weeweechu

Someone sent this and I'd like to pass it on to you to make you smile at the end of the day. enjoy.



One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girl

friend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey

baby, let's play Weeweechu."



"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.





"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I

love you and it's the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.



"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."





"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."



Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play

Weeweechu."



Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry

Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy

New Year."



................What were you thinking????

Hayee friends! Just try to look at the following unexplained photos... GRABE! Happy New Year!!!

Hello Mylene Reyes!